![]() ![]() A song that’s amazing not because Kelly is some R&B William Shatner but because he truly does want to throw money on this woman. “Throw Money on You” is just a song - a wonderful, not unfunny R&B song. The camp comes from the risk Kelly takes by refusing to be a joke to himself. Kelly’s a joke to them - a locavore pop-up at KFC, a sexual deviant who gave them an uproarious mini-movie. Most of those people were hipsters.īut when Kelly releases a record as beautifully sung and produced as 2010’s Love Letter, the hipsters are nowhere to be found. Trapped in the Closet endeared him to people who saw nothing wrong with a little bump and grind because they had never truly seen R. Audiences who had never taken Kelly seriously as a musician - and still don’t - found a backhanded reason to adore him. He didn’t set out to produce the latter, but his music-video opera Trapped in the Closet achieved it regardless. But one element of Kelly’s genius is that he knows he’s the purveyor of both outstanding music and alarming camp. On one hand, something like “Crazy Sex” could probably exist on a Tumblr page of unrecorded R. But for 18 songs, Kelly manages to transcend the hilarious bluntness of the titles with actual songcraft. You can read such song titles as “Legs Shakin'” and “Throw This Money on You” and marvel at the comical concision. Kelly’s “Mirrors” would include cleaning instructions for the housekeeper and the mirror would be on the ceiling.īlack Panties should just be conceptual kitsch. Kelly knows that if he’s going to do a song called “Mirrors,” it won’t be a metaphor for love or self-obsession or whatever it is that Timberlake is going on about. Kelly has made a career - remember, he’s been at it since the early 1990s - out of exposing the lie of popular music. For Pete’s sake, he should be taking the suit and tie off. Justin Timberlake understands sexiness but knows nothing about sex. And after you’ve listened to good artists sing about luck and heaven and putting on a suit and tie, you’ve just kind of had it. The men are really boys who are experts in adorability. For more than a decade, lust and carnality have been the women’s prerogative - Missy Elliott and Khia and Lady Gaga and Rihanna, with Madonna as the living legend and Peaches as high priestess. It’s just what you need after all the cuteness and pandering men are doing right now in popular music. This album is a nearly perfect achievement of bluntness, literalism, and indefatigability. But if listening to Black Panties early is a jailable offense, then lock me up and throw away the key. I wish I could say I hate myself for it, that it wasn’t worth contravening my commitment to legality. Kelly’s Black Panties isn’t due out for another week, but someone forwarded me a link to the leak. ![]() When there’s water dripping from your ceiling, you’ve got to get a bucket. But sometimes being a traditionalist is not possible. I prefer to wait until the scheduled release date, at which time iTunes will tell me my preordered purchase is ready for download. ![]()
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